Why Not Me?

Several years ago, I became ill. Migraines, vertigo, falls. My neurologist did multiple scans  to ensure that I did not have a brain tumor, as well as a lumbar puncture. Luckily, that was not in my stars, though I do have a permanent illness.

A few years ago, my white cell counts were off, as were other counts. My hematologist drew vial upon vi of blood, and then ordered a bone marrow biopsy to ensure that I did not have leukemia. Luckily, that was not in my stars either, though I do have a permanent blood disorder.

During that time, I also tore my ACL. Both xrays and an MRI were done, and I was cleared for surgery. Unfortunately, that too was not in my stars.

I have lost jobs, I have had my school close, I have traveled down dark roads. All of it occurring throughout the times when I was ill. At several points in time I wept, I despaired. I wondered why it was all happening to me. I had a child to raise! I was young! My career!

One day, as I was once again crying out, “Why me? What have I done wrong with my life to be afflicted so?”a voice inside finally me shouted back:

“Why you, you ask, you plead? Why NOT you?”

Oh. 

I didn’t even try to argue that point; it was a show-stopper. And I was glad of it, for my voice gave good counsel.

Am I an optimist? No, not at all. But I grew up that day and ceased looking through the glass darkly. Bad things befall most people in the world.

Why not me?